The Three Elements of Christmas
by MoonlightSalsa
Summary: Noodle believed that there were three things that made up the perfect Christmas: snow, presents and goodwill. Getting two of those things was easy. But she was concerned about goodwill, as it seemed that Murdoc had none. Set during Phase 1. (Chapter 3: Murdoc realises he's in the wrong, and cleans up his act.)
1. Snow

When Noodle woke up and pulled back her curtains to find that the entire world was covered by a thick coating of snow, she was ecstatic. Because snow could only mean one thing: Christmas was coming.

And it was that same morning that 2D was jolted awake by Noodle jumping on his bed and chanting, "Toochi, up! Snow!"

2D rubbed his eyes and glanced out the window (he had neglected to draw the curtains the night before) and said "yeah, snow! That means Christmas is coming!"

Noodle kept bouncing on his mattress while trying to pronounce Christmas, but it came out as "Ku-ris maas! Ku-ris maas!"

2D chuckled at the adorable behaviour and rolled out of bed to put on some warm clothes.

Noodle then jumped off and bounded down the hallway towards Russel's room, excited to tell him the good news.

He must have heard her coming though, because before she could knock, he opened the door tying his dressing gown and yawning. He looked down at the girl and said "good mornin' baby-girl. What gotchu all excited?"

"Snow! Ku-ris maas!" was the answer.

"Oh right!" Russel took a quick look at his calendar. "Yeah, two weeks til Christmas. I can't wait either."

"Tree?"

"Yeah, we gotta start thinking about finding a tree. And some decorations. You'd like to decorate the tree, wouldn't you?"

"Hai!"

"I don't see why we can't go lookin' for one today. You can come help pick it out too, if you want."

Noodle began jumping up and down again. "Hai! Tree! Pick tree!"

Russel laughed at her excitement. "Well, go get dressed, we'll have some breakfast, then we'll head out, okay?" He then turned back into his room and shut the door.

Noodle felt like she was going to burst. They were going to get a tree! And decorate it! She had to tell 2D and Murdoc!

Murdoc lay back in the worn leather seat in his Winnebago, a bottle of brandy in hand. The most 'festive' liquor, he thought sarcastically. You couldn't really accuse Murdoc of not getting into the spirit of Christmas, now could you?

A knock at the door had him slamming the bottle on the table, and marching over and swinging the door open to see who had ignored the "F Off" sign this time. He found himself staring into the wide grins of 2D and Noodle.

"What is it?" He growled.

"Murdoc come help find Ku-ris mass tree?" Noodle asked.

Murdoc furrowed his brow. "Wha'd she say?"

"She said tha' we're going out to get a Christmas tree today, an' if you're gonna come with." 2D clarified.

Murdoc laughed, deep and hoarse from all the cigarettes he'd smoked over the years. "No."

"Bu-" The slam of the Winnebago door shut up 2D for good.

What a stupid request that was! In fact, the whole idea of Christmas was stupid. The mental image of some old fat guy stuffing himself through a chimney and leaving behind all sorts of random crap made Murdoc instantly lose respect for those who spoke of carolling, decorating an ordinary pine tree and getting into the gift of giving. It was practically an entire religion in of itself.

Christmas was useless and a waste of money. If he'd lived this far without it, then so can everyone else.

Noodle looked up sadly at Murdoc's door and let out a sound that sounded an awful lot like a sniffle.

"Aw, don't cry, luv! It's jus' Murdoc being Murdoc! He'll join us when he's ready. But let's go and get a Christmas tree!" 2D said in an effort to cheer her up. It worked and Noodle began enthusiastically pulling on 2D's leg towards the door that would lead them back in to the studio.

Twenty minutes later Russel, Noodle and 2D piled into the car (they weren't about to take the Geep in this weather) and set off, armed with a saw, in search of the perfect tree.

As they passed by a snow-covered paddock, 2D let out a yell of "look at that one!"

Russel stopped the car the he and Noodle looked where 2D was pointing.

Near the fence by the road stood what was indeed the perfect pine tree. It would be the perfect height for the living room. Its branches were lightly dusted with snow. It stood completely straight, regal and elegant.

"Look, it's beautiful, innit?" 2D asked.

"Yeah but, that's someone's property, Dee. It wouldn't be right." Russel said.

"But they've already got one, see!" Indeed, leaning up by the door of the nearby farmhouse, was a pine tree.

"It wouldn't hurt to take it, I mean two Christmas trees is jus' being greedy." 2D continued. "An' we need one desperately." He'd added the word 'desperately' in for extra effect. It worked, as Russel sighed in defeat and said. "Fine. Get the saw."

The trio got out of the car and hopped the fence, which, luckily, wasn't electrified. Noodle stayed a safe distance back while Russel brandished the saw.

"A'ight. Dee, you hold the tree and I'll do the sawin'."

2D grabbed the top of the tree tightly as Russel got on his knees and began sawing.

Progress was slower than Russel would have liked, as his hands were frozen and the saw wasn't really that sharp. But still he kept going. 2D was, thankfully, being patient about holding the tree and Noodle was supporting them both by saying things like "you going good" and "nearly there!"

When he was about three-quarters of the way through, he heard the dreaded sound of a door slamming.

"What're think you're doing?!" A voice called.

The trio turned towards the farmhouse to see an older man stomping his foot on his porch.

"That's my tree! Mama, bring me my gun!"

Russel's heart froze when he heard that. The tree shaking meant that 2D was also scared.

"Baby-girl," he said to Noodle, "go wait in the car." Noodle obeyed. And with that, he began to saw faster than ever.

Little flakes of wood fell to the snow below as Russel frantically worked the saw back and forth, desperate to cut through the remaining trunk. His fears were elevated when he heard the door slamming again.

"Uh oh, he's got a gun, Russel!" 2D cried.

Russel didn't bother looking up. Instead his attention remained on the last little bit of wood. His palms grew sweaty, making it more difficult to hold the saw properly.

Finally, the jagged blade sliced through the trunk entirely. As soon as it did 2D was already hauling ass back to the car, Russel right behind him. 2D flung open the door and shoved the tree inside. But now there was no room for him, due to it being at an odd angle. But now was not really the time to correct it.

"Get in Dee!" Russel yelled.

"I don't think I can Russ…" 2D stopped as the drummer pushed him mercilessly into the back seat and shut the door right as a bullet zinged past his cheek.

Russel wasted no time in climbing into the driver's seat and turning the keys in the ignition and speeding away as he heard the gun crack as it fired another bullet.

Once the crazy old man and his gun were safely in the distance, everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief enhanced by the smell of fresh pine and snow.

"Dee, I think it's cool that we cut down our own tree but...goddamn that was intense. Stealing a pine tree is the sorta thing I'd expect from Muds." Russel said.

"I guess you're right but that was the perfect tree and we'd never find another one like it. Plus, I didn't think that bloke would have a gun." 2D said from where he'd fallen onto the floor.

"Tree!" Noodle said from the front seat.

"Yeah, tree! Now, let's go pick up some decorations, eh?" Russel said as he turned onto the highway.

Once they reached the shopping mall in the city and found a place to park, the first thing they did was rearrange the tree so it wasn't sticking out over the top of the seat. Then they locked up and headed inside.

They first sought out a decorations store. The displays showed off bright red and gold baubles and little ceramic deer and sleighs. The shelves held glow-in-the-dark angels and light-up stars. Noodle was fascinated by all of it. Even 2D had to remind himself not to touch anything.

Seeing their stolen pine tree with a delicate layer of snow had given Russel an idea on how to decorate it, as well as the rest of Kong Studios.

"Dee, why don't you go find us some tinsel, preferably white or silver." He instructed. "Noodle and I are gonna look for some fairy lights."

They ended up buying not only the tinsel and plain white fairy lights, but several angels carved out of wood as well as some tree decorations shaped like snowflakes. Russel had even found some wrapping paper and sticky labels that also had little sparkly snowflakes on it.

"Tha's a lotta white." 2D remarked.

"I know. I thought we could have a White Christmas sorta thing." Russel explained. 2D nodded happily at the idea and Noodle kept saying "White Ku-ris maas!" in a very energetic tone of voice.

As they drove home (they sped up a bit going past the farmhouse with a tree stump sticking out of the ground) 2D said "Murdoc's not gonna be very happy about this, isn't he?"

And indeed he wasn't. When Murdoc finally emerged from his Winnebago hours later and stumbled into the lounge to find it entirely decked out in white with a blasted tree in the corner, he wasn't pleased in the slightest.

"Dents!" He bellowed at 2D, "What is the meaning of all this?!"

2D briefly glanced at him, then returned to wrapping tinsel around the tree. "Well, it's Christmas, Murdoc, and we gotta decorate…"

Murdoc then hollered something unintelligible at him until Russel walked in and yelled at him to shut his mouth before he shut it for him.

"This is for baby-girl," he said, poking a finger at Murdoc's chest. "You are not gonna ruin this for her, man. An' don't tell her that Santa doesn't exist, either. Otherwise, you'll have to answer to me. You catch my drift?"

Murdoc rolled his eyes. "Fine."

Just then, Noodle came in, holding one of the boxes of fairy lights.

"Help Noodle?" She asked.

"Of course." Russel smiled sweetly as he helped her lay the lights out in the termite-infested mantelpiece, next to some silver tinsel.

He knew she would love a white Christmas. She loved snow.

He only hoped Murdoc wouldn't ruin it for her.


	2. Presents

When Noodle saw the snow, she thought she was going to burst. When she saw the first few presents appear under the tree, labelled "To Noodle, from Russel", she thought she was going to explode.

A few more days passed and Noodle's excitement grew stronger every morning when she would wake up, rush to the tree and see that a few more presents had been added. Snow of them were now labelled "To Noodle from 2D", in barely legible handwriting. There were also presents for 2D from Russel.

Seeing those, Noodle realised that she would need to get presents for all three of her band members.

"Presents shopping?" She asked Russel one morning at breakfast.

"Do you wanna buy something, baby-girl?" Russel said.

"Hai! Russel and Toochi and Murdoc!"

"Aw, you don't have to do that for us…"

"Yes!" It was the first time he'd heard Noodle use the English word. "Presents, Ku-ris maas!"

"'Kay, then." Russel smiled at her enthusiasm. "We'll leave once you eat your scrambled eggs."

Noodle pouted as she picked up a forkful of eggs and stared at it, then looked up at Russel.

"Eggs are good for you." Russel said. Noodle frowned.

Once Noodle had choked down her half-cold eggs, she had grabbed what little money she had managed to save up and hopped into the car with Russel and 2D, who had decided to tag along. They left without telling Murdoc the Grinch.

Once again they found themselves in the shopping mall, which was absolutely packed with people staggering under arm loads of plastic bags. Some sat on benches complaining about sore feet and empty wallets. Others were ripping into employees for not having certain items in stock. The tension and stress hung in the air.

Noodle was oblivious to the obviously miserable atmosphere as she skipped through the crowd.

"Russel present! No come!" She said to Russel.

"Don' worry Russ, I'll take her!" 2D announced.

"A'ight, but you watch her. I don't want her to get lost." Russel said before Noodle began leading the singer away.

Noodle peered into each and every single shop she passed by before gasping and dashing into a clothing store. She strode in front of a rack high up on the wall and started to jump up and down, pointing and squealing "Russel shirt! Russel shirt!"

2D looked up to where she was pointing. "Yeah, I reckon he'd like that eh?"

"Hai!"

2D reached up and lifted the shirt down. It was black in colour with a band logo, and was very soft to the touch. He glanced down at Noodle digging through her pockets for the cash she brought with her. Some notes and a few coins. No way she could afford it.

"Hey, lil luv," he said, crouching down. "I can pay for it if you want. You shouldn't have to spend all your savings just 'cause it's Christmas."

Noodle's face went blank for a second until she understood what he was saying. Then she wrapped her tiny arms around his legs, crying "fank you, Toochi!" trying to pronounce the English phrase properly.

2D felt his heart grow a little. "No worries. All in the spirit of Christmas, yeah?"

After the shirt was purchased and placed into a plain brown paper bag, Noodle and 2D began looking around for anything else Russel might like, as Noodle wasn't content with just getting him a shirt. Along the way, Noodle had picked out a hip hop album, a beanie and a book on taxidermy. 2D wasn't sure what taxidermy was exactly, but it must be something to do with cars, since it had the word 'taxi' in it.

Finally, they met up with Russel, who was carrying a couple of bags of his own. Noodle rushed over to him and said "Toochi present!"

"Yeah that's right, time to shop for Dee." Russel said, looking up at the singer, who was grinning at the thought. "A'ight Dee, we'll get back to ya soon."

2D waved them off as he went to go browse on his own.

It wasn't long before something caught Noodle's eye: a pair of big black headphones. 2D had started listening to his personal music devices recently, and his old headphones had seen better days. He could definitely use a new pair.

Noodle excitedly began pulling out her money for them, but Russel stopped her.

"Hang on baby-girl, I'll pay. Those are your savings!"

Noodle kept chanting "fank you!" as Russel purchased the headphones.

Over the next ten minutes Noodle also chose a Spider-Man T-shirt, two zombie movies and an assortment of candy she knew he liked.

They ran into 2D when they had finished. 2D had asked what they had gotten. Russel rolled his eyes.

"You ain't supposed to find out until Christmas, Dee!"

"Oh yeah right, I forgot."

"Done shopping!" Noodle interjected.

"Let's go then."

As they passed a certain kind of store Noodle doubled back and stuck her head in. Her eyes lit up as she shouted "Murdoc present!"

Murdoc had emerged from his Winnebago at lunchtime to find that he had Kong Studios to himself. He didn't know where the others had gone, and he really didn't care, to be honest.

He saw the presents under the tree and scoffed at them. All of it would just be useless junk that everyone would only pretend to like as they unwrapped it, then threw it into the skip when the giver wasn't looking. Why anyone would bother throwing money at such a stupid holiday was beyond him.

He sincerely hoped that no one would get him anything. The last thing he needed was to pretend to enjoy being given some sort of crap, and he was a rubbish actor. He didn't need the guilt from that, either.

And he certainly didn't want the guilt of rejecting anything the kid buys for him.


	3. Goodwill

Goodwill.

Russel had it, 2D had it, Noodle had it, but Murdoc didn't have it.

That was because Murdoc didn't see the point of wilfully being good all your life just so some fat dude invented by a soft drink company won't give you coal. Seriously, who wants to be good forever! Why not toe the line, live a little! Plus, at least coal actually has a purpose.

All this BS about "Christmas Cheer" was starting to get on his nerves. Just the other day, he'd stumbled across 2D writing in his song book. Some gibberish titled "Don Quixote's Christmas Bonanza".

"The bloody hell is this rubbish?!" He'd asked.

"Er, song for Christmas, y'know, to spread a li'l cheer…" 2D winced as Murdoc ripped out the page, crumpled it up then tossed it into the wastebasket.

"As long as I'm still alive and kicking, that song will never see the light of day, y'hear?" He then stormed out.

He didn't miss the fact that there was a present under the tree for him. He'd examined it as closely as he could without opening it (he really didn't want to deal with Russel getting on his case). It was bigger than all the other presents, and appeared to be stored in an oddly-shaped box. It was labelled "To Murdoc, From Noodle" in Russel's handwriting. Brilliant. The kid had gotten him something.

Murdoc walked in to get breakfast-lunch one afternoon and saw Russel hunched over several recipe books. He looked up when he saw him, and gave a faint smile.

"Jus' findin' something to cook for our Christmas dinner," he explained. "Which sounds nicer, turkey or duck?"

"Both sound stupid, Russ. Why not just get Chinese food and call it a night, eh?"

The smile disappeared from Russel's face. "Muds, I'm getting real sick of yo attitude. Christmas time is for good vibes only, you old sourpuss."

"Sourpuss!?" Murdoc shouted, enraged, but Russel held up a hand to stop him.

"No, Murdoc. You've been ruinin' it for everyone. It's not fair for me, Dee or baby-girl. Look, it'll be Christmas tomorrow. The least you can do is keep your disdain under wraps for a few hours. An' if I hear one more peep out of you, Imma lock you outside. Understand?"

"Fiiine," Murdoc said exasperatedly, turning around and leaving the kitchen. "I won't' ruin your bloody holiday."

As he ambled through the hallway, he passed by Noodle's room. The door was open a little, and the sounds of paper rustling and tape being cut could be heard. Must be wrapping presents, Murdoc thought, as he quietly stuck his head in.

He was right. Noodle sat with her back to the door, a small pile of poorly-wrapped presents beside her. She seemed to have felt eyes on her back, because she turned around. Her eyes widened, and she jumped up and attempted to conceal whatever she was wrapping, and what she had yet to wrap.

"No look!" She shouted.

"Don't get your knickers in a knot, kid, I'm not gonna look at what your doing…" Murdoc snarled as he turned to leave.

Before he was completely out of earshot, he heard a heartbroken "why hate Ku-ris maas?"

It wasn't until he'd reached his Winnebago and cracked open another bottle of brandy did he really pause and contemplate what she'd said.

Why did he hate Christmas?

As far back as he could remember he'd never celebrated it. His father would use it as an excuse to get ridiculously drunk on brandy. "The most festive of all the liquors," he'd say, voice dripping with sarcasm as he'd down yet another bottle.

There were no presents, no tree, not even a string of fairy lights to brighten the place up. As far as Sebastion Niccals was concerned, it was just another day for his two sons, and treated it as such. He still forced Murdoc to get up on stage and humiliate himself while he sat in the wings, drinking his brandy.

His father thought the idea of Santa was "retarded". He'd laughed and jeered and ruined the magic of Santa for him. Murdoc had never quite gotten over it. He'd vowed to never become like his pitiful excuse of a dad…

But that was exactly what he was doing, wasn't it? He'd started drinking brandy instead of whiskey and rum. He'd mocked the tree and decorations. He'd even gotten at least one present as far as he could tell, something he'd been hoping for constantly as a small child, and instead of being grateful and excited, he felt only dread, guilt and resentment.

Russel was right. It wasn't fair. To anyone. Especially Noodle. The kid had been looking forward to this for ages. She'd been so happy. She even bought him a present, despite the fact that he was spooling everything with his foul mood. Hearing her last words to him ring in his head made him feel sick and angry at himself.

He was a kid once and never got to celebrate Christmas. Noodle was a kid right now. And by hell if he was going to let his father's behaviour cloud his judgement! He'll give the kid the best Christmas he could manage!

He jumped up from his seat and hurled the brandy bottle at the wall. It smashed and the alcohol began dripping down the walls.

As he calmed his breathing, he heard the sound of a car engine revving. Instantly, he yanked at his drawers and pulled out his money.

He flung open the door and ran towards the car, shouting and waving his arms. The car stopped and the driver's side window rolled down. Russel stuck his head out.

"What's it now, Muds?"

Murdoc reached the car, opened the door and slid into the seat.

"Take me to the mall, eh? I got some Christmas shopping to do."

Russel smiled and continued driving. He didn't know what had brought about Murdoc's sudden change of heart, but he was grateful for it.

The two were back within a few hours. Russel had gone grocery shopping for the Christmas dinner and Murdoc had bought presents for everyone. He needed to get wrapping.

Right as Russel ordered pizza for that night's dinner, Murdoc had finished placing his shoddily-wrapped presents under the tree. The boxes were the easiest to wrap, but Noodle's presents, not so much.

The pizza arrived and the band gathered to watch a Christmas movie. When Noodle entered the room, Murdoc did not miss her pleasantly surprised expression when she noticed the extra presents. She ran to the couch and snuggled under a fluffy red blanket next to Murdoc.

Murdoc put his arm around her, and leaned down.

"Uh, look, I'm sorry for what I said earlier, okay?" The word "sorry" felt like a lump in his throat, and he was glad it was out.

Noodle grinned, hugged him and said "forgive Murdoc."

Russel and 2D awwed at the cuteness, and began to play the movie until it was time to go to bed.

As Murdoc passed by Noodle's room, Russel emerged from inside, having just tucked Noodle into bed.

"Hey, Muds." The drummer said.

Murdoc turned around.

"Thanks. Oh, and Merry Christmas." And with that, Russel headed to his own room.

Murdoc smiled a little bit and was still smiling as he passed 2D.

"Merry Christmas, Murdoc," he said.

"Merry Christmas, dullard."

Hours later, Murdoc was lying awake in his bed, wrapped in his Egyptian silk sheets that he sent away for. For the first time, he was actually excited for Christmas.

Russel had been hard at work, doing prep work for the massive meal that was to come tomorrow. He couldn't wait to see what the others had gotten him.

And he couldn't wait to see the looks on their faces when they saw what he got them. Especially Noodle when she would unwrap the stuffed monkey, which the tag said was named Mike.

Meanwhile, Noodle was curled up in a ball. She could sleep easy tonight, knowing that Murdoc was finally enjoying Christmas. She couldn't wait for him to see her gift: a bass guitar with an incredibly detailed image of Satan on the front.


End file.
